Merle with Rabies!
by Anonymous Pyro
Summary: Once again, the title says it all...Muhaha! I will torture you with chapter two!!
1. Default Chapter

It is I Anonymous Pyro! Back by popular demand! (in my delusions at least) With another medical fic involving the Esca gang! Yes indeed, In this delve into the medical world we find our favorite cat girl has a very troubling problem, Will she survive her illness? Will her friends survive? This idea was given to me by thundersenshi17, Who I thank once again for the inspiration and who you readers can give credit to. Well, Enjoy the fic!

Merle with Rabies!

Dawn was slowly approaching and the kingdom of Fanelia slept peacefully. Within the castle of Van Fanel, a certain cat girl stretched her lithe form only to feel a muscle spasm run through her body. Merle lay in a window seal and stared out longing for dawn to arrive. She hadn't had a good nights sleep in days, she realized as she got up and began to roam the castle. "Just what is going on with me?" she thought more than a little worried. She shook of the feeling and went in search of Van.

Van Fanel had been up before dawn, out practicing his sword play. "You don't charge aggressively enough" Van said aloud in a mocking impression of Allen. "What does he know" He said with a huff. Merle sat and watched as her companion continued to practice and, just as she was going to approach Van, She saw Hitomi walk up to him. "What is SHE doing here" Merle said with a feral growl, she was becoming more and more annoyed with Hitomi lately. Merle slinked around just out of sight, she was restless and wanted to hear what that GIRL had to say to her Van.

"Oh Van!" Hitomi started "I didn't know you were out here". 'Yeah right, a likely story' Merle thought with a growl. "Oh Hitomi, I was just practicing my sword play" Van said sheathing his sword. "You should get Allen to help you" Hitomi said smiling at the thought of Allen (as usual she was being completely clueless and wasn't thinking of how Van felt for her) "Yeah, maybe" Van replied a smile playing across his features at the thought of humiliating Allen 'That pimp freak is going down, he will rue the day he ever insulted Van Fanel's swordsmanship' Van thought with a chuckle.

'What are they laughing about?' Merle thought angrily as she marched over to where Van and Hitomi were standing. "Oh, Hi Merle" Hitomi said cheerily "Merle" Van echoed as he turned to face the disgruntled cat girl. "Don't you 'Hi Merle' me!" Merle shouted as she latched on to Van. "I know you are trying to take Van away from me and I wont let you!" She said bearing her teeth. "Merle" Van scolded "Don't be rude to Hitomi, she was only having a chat with me" Merle released Van's arm and took a step away from him 

"So, I see how it is now…" Merle said with fire in her eyes "You are in on this too!" she screamed at Van. "What are you talking about Merle? In on what?" Van asked confused "Don't play dumb Van Fanel! Oh wait I forgot you don't have to 'play'" Merle said as she ran off. Hitomi stared after where the cat girl had disappeared behind a building "What was that all about?" She asked "I have no idea" Van answered "But then, she has been acting strangely lately…"

So how was it? Good, bad, eh? I admit this chapter wasn't very funny, but things will pick up in the following chapters. Next time: Will our clueless main characters find out what is wrong with Merle? Will things turn nasty for Hitomi? Will Allen show up? As I have said before, More reviews = more chapters. Until Next Time!

*Note: I do not own Escaflowne…I think you already knew that…


	2. wouldn't YOU like to know this chapter's...

You all must forgive me for the lack of comedy in the last chapter, My argument is that it was necessary setup! (animals, you see, become very agitated and moody at the first signs of rabies) Also this is the first time I have written a fic involving Esca's "heroes" (lack of Dil-Sama, but that is my own problem I guess…) Anyway, I hope this chapter lives up to its "humor" category. Enjoy!

Merle With Rabies!

Merle ran down the corridors of castle Fanelia as she tried to sort things out. 'I can't believe I said that to Lord Van' she thought as she ran 'Ah what the hell, he deserved it' she thought the next moment. Her mind was in chaos and she didn't know why. So caught up in running was she that she didn't notice Allen coming around a corner up ahead of her. She ran headlong into the "Heavenly Knight" knocking him over "Woah there! What's the hurry little lady?" Allen asked with his typical charm as he gently pushed Merle off of him "Where's the…Ahh!!!" he screamed as he shoved Merle off and scooted away from her shaking his hand "Your filthy cat saliva is all over me!!" Allen yelled in shock. 

Merle pulled back and wiped her mouth, her eye twitching, as she watched the vain bishonen struggle to wipe himself off. "I…I…hissssss" Merle bared her fangs at Allen, who let out a girlish shriek just realizing that some of the saliva had touched his precious hair. "grr…how _dare _he insult me!" She thought as she prepared to pounce, but the sound of approaching footsteps dissuaded her and she instead ran off. "Allen! What happened to you?" Hitomi asked as she ran to the fallen man. Van, who was hanging back not really wanting to come to his rivals aid, couldn't help but chuckle at the sight of Allen laying disheveled on the floor. 

"Man Van!, you need to get a leash on that catgirl!" Allen said as he stood and brushed himself off "That or maybe get her spayed, that ought to control those raging hormones" He finished as he flashed that playboy smile at Hitomi. 'I bet that would work on you too…' Van thought before issuing an unenthusiastic "Yeah, maybe". Hitomi, who was having the moves put on her by Allen, suddenly had an idea "Hey! We should talk to Millerna, she might know what's wrong with Merle" (A/N: yeah…right…Millerna will know…) "Maybe" Van said in a hopeful sounding mumble, and with that the three were off to visit Millerna.

"I am a doctor, not a veterinarian" Millerna said testily "Millerna! Where did you learn such big words?" Hitomi asked with a giggle but Millerna was not amused "If you only came here to insult me then you should leave" she said in a huff (A/N: What Millerna is this???) Hitomi sighed and turned to Van and Allen "I don't think she is going to help" Hitomi said looking rather downcast "Here, let me ask her" Allen said with a grin "But Allen, I thought Dryden said he didn't want you coming around here anymore" Van said sweetly "Umm, well this is different" Allen said with a scowl as he stepped up to Millerna "Princess," Allen said as he took Millerna's hand "Won't you please hear Merle's symptoms and try to help…for me?" Millerna stared into Allen's eye and sighed "Oh Allen, of course I will" Millerna got up to retrieve several medical books and Allen gave a thumbs up to Hitomi and a gagging Van.

After explaining the situation to Millerna (several times…) she finally came to a diagnosis. "Van, I am sorry but I believe Merle has come down with that bane of all cat owners…a UTI" Van gasped and Millerna shook her head sadly "A urinary tract infection!?" Hitomi blurted out "Yes" Millerna replied sadly "Van have you been changing Merle's litter box everyday?" Millerna inquired "Why yes, of course, wait! I forgot to change it on Monday! I didn't think one day would do this!" Van said as he buried his face in his hands "Oh Merle! I am so sorry!" Van said softly "Van, you cannot just shirk you responsibilities like that" Allen said in a disapproving tone "Of Van, it's not your fault" Hitomi started "If Merle can walk and speak then...then…she can change her own litter box!" 

All eyes turned to Hitomi who blinked and muttered "Well she can…" Just then the door to the room was thrown open and Allen, who had been focusing his attentions on Millerna, quickly pulled away upon seeing the person who strode in "Millerna my dear, I believe your diagnosis is a little off" Dryden announced "But…" Millerna started only to be silenced by a wave of Dryden's hand "What were her symptoms again?" he inquired "Agitation, lack of sleep…" Van began "And she salivated all over my beautiful hair" Allen added "Hmm, my friends these are the symptoms of a deadly disease known as _rabies_" Dryden said after a pause. Everyone on the room gasped at the revelation. "No…Merle!!!" Van yelled in typical "anguished hero" style.

Well hopefully this chapter wasn't as serious as the last chapter. I don't spend as much time watching the "heroes" of Escaflowne so I don't really know their personalities enough to keep them from becoming OOC. Send me some reviews and tell me if it was good, bad, or "Someone must find this 'Anonymous Pyro' and put an end to her". I sincerely hope it isn't the third choice ^_^()…

*Note: I do not own ES-CA-FLOW-NE!!!


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